Sunday, May 6, 2012

You Know Me..

The place where God calls you to is the place where deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meets.
-Frederick Beuchner

It’s about time for a blog! I haven’t written one since outreach… God is just as good to me when I’m going all out on the literal missions field as he is when I’m in a season of learning and rest. Plus it’s just time for some updating!

It is currently a nice Sunday afternoon… I have enjoyed a very nice morning of catching up on emails, pictures and updates as I listen to wonderfully mellow music and enjoying numerous cups of tea. Oh and did I mention is it raining? This afternoon is right up my alley. 

A lot of people have been, and do ask throughout this DTS, “What are your plans after this school?” It’s so fun to answer this question. The Emilie one year ago may have immediately given a detailed dream and expectation for her future- knowing exactly her talents, her desires and her potential and using them to piece together a perfect little future of, yes, serving God, but possibly being too preoccupied by her own big dreams and plans to fully submit. But thanks to God, that’s not the Emilie I am today. That Emilie changed ONE day, during ONE quiet time with the Lord, and waiting quietly upon him for ONE minute.  It was during that ONE moment of my life that the Lord spoke something to me that would forever change my life and the course of it;

“I’m calling you back to Africa”.

It was such a sudden clear voice like I’d never heard that actually terrified me. “God, did you really just say that?!.... Oh goodness of course you did… oh my….. oh. No.” Okay, I yes I was dreading and fearing a bit (or a lot, whatever.)…. When God trusts you enough you ask you to lay down something big, it’s because he wants to do something big…. and it’s time to make room. I have been blessed to go through numerous experiences to find that once he asks of you to surrender something, or to take a risk, he will not relent until you do it. He loves us too much than to call us to a higher place with Him and then to not stay right by our side, reminding us and encouraging us constantly what we’re capable of and that we can do it. So yes, in this moment I was full of fear… yet a steady peace reigned in me that He just started a new chapter in my life that he would be right along side me the whole way.

From that day up until I boarded the airplane to Africa, the Lord was so good to confirm and to encourage me along the way that this was the path I was to be walking on. And though I was sure and confident that going to Africa was my purpose for this time and though I knew deep in my heart that I was ready, I was truly dreading and fearing this trip. It was the last thing Emilie Ely would EVER do and of COURSE that’s what God would call me to!

But things changed the moment I set foot on the African ground; the inner Emilie who I was created to be and whom I had not yet known was beginning to quickly and naturally to be discovered and revealed by the Lord. I began to see, understand and become the heart I didn’t known I had; the heart that God knew was ready for this adventure with Him even If I myself didn’t feel ready one bit.
I like to explain this by giving a visual of two different paths in life; one is aligned with a future of everything your heart desires; your perfect little cookie-cutter planned out life of graduating your dream school, marrying your dream soul mate, working your dream job and having a perfect little dreamy family. But the other is a path of risk in which the only way of entry is with God; you are blinded by what’s down this path, yet it’s the path your Creator calls you to. It’s a path far too extravagant and glory filled for your earthly eyes to see and your human mind to understand. Yet, He calls you to trust Him, and to take to the plunge with Him. You’d find yourself saying, “I want to take this path with God- my heart and soul is drawn to it, but do I even know him well enough to trust Him with my life? Can I trust him with my future and my everything? Does he really know me?”

Maybe I’m just a young girl. I’m 19 years young and 8 years in a genuine relationship with Him. But I know the answer to these questions.

Yes. Trust Him with your life, you were made and designed to live for Him.

Yes. Trust Him with your future; He’s the only one who knows it and He designed it for you to know and walk in.

And yes; He knows you. He knows every little desire of your heart, every fear and every intricate part of you. More than you know yourself.

I’m just 3 months in this journey- 3 months down this path of the exciting unknown; And I have discovered secret realms and parts of the Lord that are better than life. I have tapped into just a small portion of the supernatural joy, fulfillment and peace that I am promised multiplied portions of for all of my days and beyond. I have received such a small, small sliver sized portion of this goodness compared to the eternity I have with Him and will be receiving from him!

And this, what I just explained, is what goes through my mind the moment a person asks “What are you doing after DTS?”. The answer is… “I have no idea… and it is the most exciting thing EVER!!!” Why? Because the Creator of the Universe not only knows me best, knows where I belong and knows where I was made to be, but also because I am confident that He knows exactly where and when I need to be; and He will tell me. I am not a slave to my future and I do not fear it, because I’ve chosen to walk down a path in which I am PRIVILAGED to let Him completely lead me. What freedom and peace there is in NOT leading your own life! I have finally learned how to live in the present and there is no greater peace.
           Psalm 139
 Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lordyou know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

     Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me

 and lead me in the way everlasting!

On other terms, we are preparing already for the main outreach that will be taking place in 3 weeks! Tomorrow we will find out what locations we will be going to, and from there the group will split into two for the separate locations. It’s crazy how fast this school has gone; and it’s very heartbreaking to think this will be my last 3 solid weeks with some people of this school before we split for the last 6 weeks. Oh, YWAM relationships… not looking forward to saying goodbye to loved ones, knowing that we’ll never see them again. Depressing, I know but it’s the reality unfortunately!
Internet got set up last week and it’s SOO awesome to be able to Skype everyone! Can I just say that Skype is a lifesaver? Whoever invented it deserves some serious gold stars. Love it.
Anyways, that’s my small update for now and what has been brewing in my heart. I’ll try to be more regular until outreach!

My prayer request to all my prayer warriors (aka all of you, yes!!) out there is that the Lord would strengthen me to stay focused and determined for these last two months. Also, that our group would be seekers of Jesus’ will and heart, not our own or each other’s. Please pray that we’d all make an effort to be in perfect unity through Christ.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your love and support! 


"You Know Me" By Steffany Frizzell... this song was on my mind the whole time I was writing this. Beautiful!

Currently listening this THIS Jon Thurlow AMAZINGNESS. Thanks Val! Every song on this album is divine.

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